Stop Wringing the Rag: You’re Not Broken—You’re Becoming

A New Way to See Growth

There’s a moment in every seeker’s journey—maybe even a dozen of them—where the question creeps in: “Why do I still need so much input?”

Why am I still reading, still attending, still consuming… still trying to fix something?

Here’s the honest (and slightly uncomfortable) truth: you’re always going to crave input. You’re always going to be curious, reaching for the next insight, the next tool, the next piece of clarity.

And here’s why that’s not a problem.

You’re Not Broken—You’re Wired This Way

You’re not endlessly seeking because you’re broken. You’re seeking because you’re built for growth. You have a mind that’s wired for inquiry—a deep, organic curiosity that fuels your evolution.

The shift?

It’s in how you contextualize that drive.

In the past, you may have unconsciously framed it like this: “I need to learn more because something’s wrong with me.”  Or “I don’t know enough.”

Now, it’s time to rewrite that narrative:

“I’m committed to growing because that’s who I am—and I have something of real value to give.”

That distinction isn’t semantics. It’s a tectonic shift in how you show up for yourself—and for others.

The Rag Analogy: Stop Wringing Out What’s Already Been Washed

Let’s talk about the rag in the room.

If you take a rag that has a stain on it and wash it repeatedly, the stain will fade. Sure, if you hold it up to the light and inspect it just right, maybe you’ll catch a shadow of what used to be there. And continuing to wring out that over-washed rag, squeezing every last drop of doubt, shame, or inadequacy over and over, hoping to get rid of the stain permanently is for not. Because the truth is: That stain no longer has to define you.

You’ve already done the work. The big wash cycles? You’ve survived them. Sometimes, yes, a familiar trigger will sneak up on you—and you’ll think, Wait, I thought I already healed that. And that doesn’t mean you’re back at square one. It means you’re human. And this is what the deeper levels of integration look like: less drama, more recognition, quicker recovery.

Mindset Shifts to Anchor You

If this resonates, you’re not alone. And here are a few ways to stay grounded when that old stain starts to hit the right light:

1. Shift from Fixing to Refining

You’re not a renovation project. You’re a craftsperson, refining your mastery.

Fixing implies there’s something inherently wrong with you—something that must be corrected before you can show up, lead, or create. Refining, on the other hand, honors what’s already working. It recognizes that growth is about precision, not overhaul.

Think of a master violinist. They don’t throw out the instrument every time a note sounds off—they tune. They listen more closely. They deepen their relationship with the craft. That’s what you’re doing.

🔹 Try this: Before diving into another course, ask yourself—am I doing this to become more aligned, or because I don’t think I’m enough as I am?

2. Recognize the Echo—Don’t Relive the Story

When the old inner voice shows up, don’t hand it the microphone.

You’ll hear echoes of past pain, doubt, or fear. Sometimes out of nowhere. Sometimes louder than you’d like. That’s not regression. That’s residue. It’s the faint reverberation of an identity that no longer fits—but hasn’t quite let go.

The key is not to believe the echo. Don’t move into its house. Don’t decorate the walls.

Instead, observe it like an old song on a distant radio station: “Oh, I remember this one.” And then choose to change the channel.

🔹 Try this: When that voice pops up (“Who do you think you are?” “You’re still not there yet”), respond with kindness and detachment: “Thanks for your concern. I’ve got it from here.”

3. Claim What You Already Carry

Speak from the scar, not the wound.

You have walked through fire. You’ve spent years gathering wisdom, tools, and experience—through joy, heartbreak, learning, and showing up even when it was hard. This is your library. And these tools are only useful when you stop second-guessing yourself and start offering them from a place of being enough—not perfection.

Too often we default to “I need one more thing before I can serve.”

The truth? Someone else desperately needs the lessons gleamed from what you’ve already lived through. 

You don’t need another certificate to be valuable. Remember what you’ve already survived and translate it into insight.

🔹 Try this: Make a list—yes, literally—of the wisdom you’ve earned through experience. Not what you’ve learned in books, but what life has carved into your bones. Refer to it when imposter syndrome knocks.

4. Normalize the Cycles

Healing isn’t about erasing the past—it’s about evolving your relationship with it.

The idea that growth should be a straight line is a myth that does real harm. The real journey? It’s cyclical. Spirals. Loops. Seasons. Sometimes, you’ll revisit an old wound and feel frustrated—“I thought I already dealt with this.”

And returning to a familiar place with a new level of awareness is progress. You’re not in the same place—you’re arriving with more clarity, more resilience, and more self-compassion than the last time around.

🔹 Try this: When an old fear resurfaces, say: “This is a familiar place, and I am a different person.” Then take a breath and move with the version of you who knows more now.

Bonus Shift: 

Create From Wholeness, Not Readiness

There’s no such thing as “finally ready.” Ready is a moving target. Wholeness on the other hand? That’s the soil you can plant something in today.

Don’t wait until the rag is spotless. Trust that it’s clean enough—and that what you offer through it is soaked in realness, not polish.

🔹 Try this: Next time you hesitate to share, speak, lead, or create—ask: “Is this hesitation coming from wanting to get it perfect, or from honoring the moment I’m already equipped for?”

These shifts won’t eliminate the inner critic, or the ache to keep growing. And they will soften your grip on the belief that you’re behind. They’ll anchor you in the truth that you don’t need to “do more” to be enough. You already are. You’ve got a toolkit most people would kill for—made up of your life, your work, your stories, your scars.

And yes, you’ll keep learning because that’s your nature. Not because you’re chasing worthiness. Because you’re nurturing mastery.

Stop wringing the rag. You’ve already squeezed the lesson out. Now it’s time to offer it others.

If you would like guidance to stop chasing healing and start owning what’s already in you and refine your offer—Reach out and let’s work on it together.