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The Leadership Tension No One Talks About: When to Drive and When to Step Aside

Mar 26, 2025

One of our clients recently shared an all too familiar tension. Their senior team members are sharp, seasoned, and committed—but not always aligned. Deadlines slip. Priorities drift. And my client finds themselves caught in a tug-of-war between two leadership instincts: push for clarity and results, or step back and give space.

It’s a challenge many leaders face, especially when leading experienced professionals. You’re not dealing with junior staff who need task-level direction. You’re managing people who expect autonomy, and still look to you for alignment and momentum. That gap—between hands-on leadership and empowered ownership—is where things often break down.

So how do you know when to intervene versus when to let go?

Let’s break this down.

 
 

The Temptation to Overcorrect

When results stall, most leaders react in one of two ways:

• Over-functioning: You jump in. Take on too much. Fill in the gaps. It’s faster, cleaner, and it feels like leadership in action.

• Under-...

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The Power of Language: Shifting from "Need" to "Want" and "Get To"

Jan 31, 2025

Words shape our reality. The language we use in everyday conversations—whether with employees, customers, or even ourselves—has a profound impact on our mindset and emotions. One small and powerful shift in language is how we use the word "need."

 

The Energy of "Need"

When you say, "I need to do this," where does that energy come from? Need is rooted in fear. It comes from a sense of lack, a place of contraction, and a focus on what is missing. It’s backward-looking, tied to worry and scarcity.

Think about how often you use the word "need."

• I need to finish this project.
• We need to hit this goal.
• You need to improve your performance.
• I need to lose weight.

Each statement carries a sense of pressure and obligation. It’s as if something bad will happen if the "need" isn’t met. But fear-based language doesn’t create—it constricts.

 

Shifting to "Will" and "Intend"

Now, let’s reframe the same statements with a different energy:

• I will finish this project.
• We inte...
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September: The Second New Year

Sep 06, 2024

September: The Second New Year

When we think of new beginnings, January 1st often comes to mind. But for many, September brings the same sense of fresh starts and renewed energy, thanks to the ingrained rhythm of the school calendar. As summer ends and school begins, there’s a palpable shift in mindset—a feeling of newness and pumpkin spice that can inspire us to set goals, reorganize, and refocus. Whether or not you have children heading back to school, the patterns of life in September often make it feel like a "second new year."

 

Here are three ways you can take advantage of this momentum:

1. Set Your “Second New Year” Goals

Just like we set resolutions in January, September is a great time to review where you stand with the goals you may have set earlier in the year. Maybe some have fallen by the wayside, or perhaps new priorities have emerged. Take a moment to assess what's working and what’s not. Set fresh, realistic goals for the next few months and approach them with the ...

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As You Get Older, You Either Become Your Worst Self or Your Best Self

Jul 04, 2024

Aging is an inevitable journey we all embark upon (thankfully), and along this path, we encounter a myriad of experiences that shape and define us. The choices we make and the attitudes we adopt significantly influence the people we become. It's often said that as you get older, you either become your worst self or your best self, (or like your parents). I think everyone has had a vision of themselves in socks and sandals on the front lawn yelling to the neighborhood kids “Get off my lawn!” This dichotomy captures the essence of how our character evolves over time. 

 

The Path to Becoming Your Worst Self (DO NOT FOLLOW THIS PATH)

Becoming your worst self is a gradual process that stems from neglecting personal growth and allowing negative traits to dominate your life. Here are some common pitfalls:

1. Complacency: It’s easy to become set in our ways at any age (hello toddlers). This rigidity can lead to stagnation, preventing us from adapting to new circumstances and learning from ...

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